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Simplified Mum Life

Nina A Spencer – Motherhood Mentor – Simplifying the every day for busy overwhelmed mums -Mum Of Twins Twice! Placenta Accreta Survivor, Mental Health Champion, On my own simple living Journey filled with adventure and travel . Embracing The Imperfectly, Chaotic moments of motherhood.
Health & Fitness

Exam Stress – How to help reduce the stress.

It’s coming up to that time of year. SATS, GCSEs, A Levels, etc Exam season can be such a stressful time for all involved. The kids are tired, they come home stressed, sleep is disrupted, they get moody and anxious. Exam Stress – How to help your kids cope.

Before we get into how to help reduce the stress a little story time.

I came downstairs the other morning and the bigger twins were feeling stressed, they hadn’t slept properly they were feeling stressed about the upcoming Pre SATS tests, so not even the actual SATS but the test to prepare for the real thing.

There is no wonder our teens have a high rate of mental health they seem to have so much pressure set upon them now a days.

anyway back to the kids. They were stressing and I told them that while its good to have a little bit of stress to push us to do our best hanging on to that stress, being overly anxious about them is not only not good for them but it really is unnecessary.

I told them that when I was at school I didn’t do well in my GCSEs yet I am a best-selling published author, public speaker and I own my own business. Their dad didn’t go to university, wasn’t amazing in school yet he is a Dr of science. Grandad – He owned his own business yet finished school early. Sats weren’t even a thing when we were all at school. Even their big brother while he’s gone through the system and gained his degree – He’s now doing a job that isn’t related to his degree one bit in-fact he didn’t even need qualifications to start.

I told them it does not matter – try your best, do your best but ultimately these tests do not matter.

Now how to help reduce the stress in exam season.

Exam Stress – How to help reduce the stress.

1: Long periods of revision are not good for anyone and actually, after so long, they won’t retain any more information anyway. So encourage regular breaks and fill those breaks with something they love doing. A craft project, some Minecraft or Fortnite or better still get outside.

2: Get outside, fresh air really boosts our mood and can improve cognitive function too. So take the long way to school, and add some fresh air activities into their downtime or take regular breaks for a breath of fresh air.

3: Nutrition is important. At stressful times eating can be the last thing on their mind but it’s important to eat some nutritious food regularly. Smoothies, soups, or home-cooked dinners for example. and snacks of fruit and nuts.

4: Give them time and space for them to chat with you about how they are feeling. Chats over dinner or on the way to clubs are a great way of opening the conversation. but its important our children know they have time and space away from siblings to talk too.

5: Letting our children know that we are proud of them and love them whatever happens, however, they do in their tests or exams. I reiterate my story time earlier in this post.

6: Work with the school to find out how best to support revision with your child(ren) and ask what the best way to revise is for your children.

7: Keep positive, showing our children a positive mindset is infectious and if we feel positive they are likely to feel more positive too.

8: Create a toolbox of well-being with them. Ask what they would like to do to relax. It could be fidget toys, yoga, a teen mindfulness practice, a little art or colouring in. It could even be some essential oils that they could use on their body or in a diffuser.

9: Talk to the school if your child has a subject that struggles with in particular. They may be able to provide extra help for that subject.

10: Have a fun plan for after exams. A day out at the beach, a favourite meal, A few friends around for pizza. Ask what they would like to do.

Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid

Albert Einstein

If stress is too much or your child is struggling with anxiety and it impacting their day-to-day then talk to your Dr.

I really hope this helps you and your children go through exam season with less stress.

Nina x

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Planning

Consistency is my word of the year but how do you be more consistent?

I have struggled throughout my life to be consistent. Never sticking at a job very long, getting bored and getting shiny object syndrome. Often running out of time and then failing to get all the jobs done. That’s why if you are on my mailing list they are at best sporadic. But this Year 2023 I am making it my mission to get better at consistency. So this year to try and keep me on track my word of the Year is Consistency! But how do you be more consistent?

What are the benefits of being consistent?

Most people find being consistent difficult and everyone loses their way from time to time but there are so many benefits to staying on track.

If you are trying to be consistent with your daily routine for instance this can help you feel calmer about the day as you know what’s coming.

Working on your goals day by day you will achieve them faster than someone who doesn’t stay on track. If they even achieve them at all.

If your goal is to pay off debt or become more financially sound then keeping on budget will mean you achieve this quicker. If you don’t keep on top of this you can end up losing out on experiences, and items you really want or worse end up further in debt

As human beings, we generally thrive on routine whether we like it or not. Think of the circadian rhythm this in itself is a routine of sorts and in our ancestors, it determined their whole day. Getting into and staying in some kind of routine really helps get things done. That could mean our wider golas or just our daily to do list.

But how do you be more Consistent?

  • To start with you have to know your end goal. So, if you want to get more consistent with your to-do list, consider why these jobs are important and relevant to your end goal. Is that end goal truly one that is fulfilling to you?
  • Next make sure that goal is realistic. There is an acronym that helps you with goal setting Called SMART – SMART goals stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound There is more on this in a later blog post.
  • F.O.C.U.S. – Follow one course until success. Meaning don’t try to achieve nto many things all at once.
  • Time block your days. Split your days up into blocks and pick one block to work on your goal. Making sure that all other distractions are kept out of that block.
  • Give yourself small rewards for achieving the goals you set out. If you manage to get your kitchen cleaned each week reward yourself with a bunch of flowers or light a candle. or simply make a cuppa, sit back and enjoy the hard work.
  • Say No! Take your time when agreeing to commitments. Think about the consequences. Is this going to help you achieve your goal or is this procrastination going to stop you from being consistent with those steps towards your goal?
  • Progress over Perfection. You should know me by now I’m an advocate for embracing the imperfectly Chaotic moments in life. Most of the time though done is better than perfect. so forget those spelling mistakes, don’t worry about the handwriting and just get that thing done.
  • Track your achievements. Grab a habit tracker or make one and track the progress you are making.
Pin this!

Ultimately staying consistent is something we should all be striving for even though sometimes we struggle. The one most important thing its to take things slow and steady.

Good luck lovely, I’m here to hold your hand!

Nina x

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Uncategorized

Teapot Of Wellbeing

I am such a tea’a’holic and as such I love a tea analogy for that I won’t be apologising. I mean I love coffee too but I am more into tea! So what is the Teapot of wellbeing? Well, read on to find out.

Tea Ceremony – Japanology and me!

It has become apparent in the last couple of years or so that I have formed a little obsession with Japanese concepts. Wabi-Sabi being one of them, ikigai being another, There are many many cultures and concepts that my life falls into and many activities I had practiced without realising it was related to the Japanese way! One ancient Japanese culture is their tea ceremony. Tea Time is a serious activity in Japan and Taking time out to really mindfully prepare the tea and then savour the tea with friends is thought to represent purity, tranquillity, harmony & respect. It really is an activity to boost wellbeing. So it makes sense to me that as part of my message I use the Teapot of wellbeing to show the importance of self-care.

TeaPot Of wellbeing

Throughout our life, we pour out so much of our energy into different areas of our life. We pour and pour until we have nothing left sometimes.

When I talk about energy I’m talking about moments of stress, anything that takes your emotions, your brainpower, things that shorten your tether!

In effect we pour into others mugs before we pour our own cuppa!

Think of the different areas of life you have!

  • Work
  • Kids
  • Grandparents
  • Neighbours
  • Owing a business

Each of these areas are zappers of our energy, there may be more or less depending on how you spend your days.

But think of these things as mugs that you are pouring into from your teapot of wellbeing.

We pour and pour throughout our days, our lives. If we continue pouring without topping up we end up in burnout, which can manifest in so many different ways! For me, it was a breakdown, which is now why I am so passionate about building this foundational stage of life!!

So have a little think about how you can top up your teapot of wellbeing, not just today but every day!

Nina x

If you want to build your toolbox of well-being more get in contact with me. My foundation self-led course Let’s get selfish is currently being updated but will be available soon. Join the wait list now!

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#StayHome Lockdown

Mummy’s Morning Moments

Regardless of whether we are at school or at home, my “Morning M&Ms or Mummy’s Morning Moments” are super important, Actually, no, vital to me having any ounce of tolerance to handle chaos bursts throughout the day.

Through my healing journey, motherhood, coming out of overwhelm and striving to live a simple life, I read A LOT! I read all manner of books and blogs, I listened to podcasts and watch vlogs and one consistent thing that came up was a morning routine! So My Mummy’s Morning Moments Was created. and I love it!

What Is In My Ideal Morning

Every time I write down what is in my ideal morning its always yoga and a cuppa in the quiet that makes the list. I also like to get outside for some sunshine and fresh air first thing.

Writing morning pages can be so good for my wellbeing too. Writing a little bit of a gratitude diary, some plans for the day, and a little bit of a journal to get thoughts and feelings out from the day before or any dreams that I may have had in the night.

To start with I create a mind map of the things that I want in my morning and what I want to get done.

My mornings start before the rest of the house wakes up usually. Sometimes though especially through the winter months I may have to stick on the tv and grab my morning moment while the kids are watching Netflix for a minute or two. The things on my mind map won’t all get done each day but writing them down to get an idea of what I like helps.

Infographic with different aspects of what makes a great morning for nina a spencer

But What About The Kids?

If the kids wake before I manage to sneak outside I will let them watch their tablets, or sit in my bed and watch tv. Sometimes they sneak outside and often that’s ok Now I am in my routine with my mornings I find I can zone in and out much easier.

I work backwards from What time we need to leave the house. The kids start getting up at about 7am. Remember this is not a hard fast schedule If I think they need that bit extra rest I will let them If it is feasible I just think our days are a lot smoother when we have a plan in place.

I find creating a bit of a mind map for what we need and want to get done before the school day really helps to remind us of what needs to be done.

The Rest Of The Day

To get the most out of our day Im going to start blocking our time out too. Once our Morning routines are over next comes schoolwork time.

Our day will hopefully look like this

  • Mums morning time – 1 hr
  • Family Morning Time 1hr
  • 8.30 School Run / Get out and about
  • Dinner – 4/5pm
  • Kids at clubs
  • Outdoor time
  • Bedtime Routine For Kids – 7pm
  • Grown ups down time! – 8.30pm
  • Bed no later than 10pm

This is how I worked out how to get the best out of my morning time and my whole day in fact!

How do your Mornings look? Do you have energy and resilience through the day when stresses hit or do you need to look at your mornings and see how you could improve them?

Nina x

If you fancy creating a morning routine that helps make your days better have a look at this

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bucket list uk

How to have a simple Summer (Finding calm within the CHAOS)

The Summer is upon us (unless you are reading this in March or October or something and in that case take the advice I give and use it to the best you can for the season you are in) and this may fill you with anxiety. Having to entertain the kids 24 hours a day for 6 whole weeks. But life does not have to be like that, I want you to enjoy a summer of memory-making and fulfilment with your kids as much as they do. So here is how to have a simple Summer (finding calm in the CHAOS)

Finding Calm In The CHAOS

As a mum of twins Twice, I have more kids than hands and that often brings a lot of CHAOS! I used to dread those 6 long weeks of summer, How am I going to entertain them for all that time? What are we going to eat?, how will I afford to take them to the places their friends are going? OH god, The snacks. e.t.c.

I’m going to get straight to it as I know how busy you are and reading through a blog post to find the tips you need to find that calm, to find the simple.

How to have a simple Summer

Stay Simple. The bare bones of it is to have a simple summer make it simple! Yep, I know, Why are you making it overcomplicated?, Are the summer holidays really the best time to be adding new meals to your meal plan?

Calendar Cutting. Cut down the things you add into your calendar, You don’t need to fill every single day! Infact, you are going to cause more stress filling each day with activities as just as we get tired so do our kids.

Meal Plan While we don’t want to add new meals that you then have to source ingredients for and learn to cook making a meal plan for the whole summer can cut down the number of decisions we are having to make on a daily basis. We make around 35000 decisions a day! Creating a simple meal plan will cut this!

Could do List In years gone by We have created a summer bucket list but actually what this does is make you feel like you have failed if you don’t tick everything off. instead, write a could-do list that way it is not set in stone that you must do what you have on it. they are just there to give you ideas.

Stop the Scrolling While sometimes it’s nice to catch up with your favourite Instagrammers, its good to check in with friends online, and some of us will use our socials for running our business. But you really don’t need to be on there every moment of every day! Yep, Hard truth time. Stop the scroll, put down your phone and enjoy the summer with your kids. Not only will you cut the temptation of comparisonitis, and you will have more time to get stufff done!

Join Summer CHOAS Control The Challenge I am running my yearly challenge from Wednesday 6th July 2022. It’s a fun but highly practical challenge to help you cut the CHAOS and enjoy summer because those kids grow up fast right and we don’t want to miss any more time!

I cant wait to see you there!

Nina x

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Where to next?