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Simplified Mum Life

Nina A Spencer – Motherhood Mentor – Simplifying the every day for busy overwhelmed mums -Mum Of Twins Twice! Placenta Accreta Survivor, Mental Health Champion, On my own simple living Journey filled with adventure and travel . Embracing The Imperfectly, Chaotic moments of motherhood.
Dreaming of...

Dreaming of …….. Owning A Hot Tub.

I love the feeling of being in water. I think its something to do with me being a fire sign. It sort of calms me down.

It could be swimming, paddling in the sea, having a bath, lazing in a hot tub or even just a simple shower.

Although, I’ve never really been one for hot baths – you know the baths that make you look like a lobster when you get out. So hot tubs had never really been my thing until recently.

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We went on a mini break to the forest and stayed in a log cabin with a hot tub.

It was amazing to sit in the heat while all around was freezing cold. Listening to the birds. watching the nature in the trees, truly relaxing.

Since then we have been on a longer weekend break to Bainland staying in a safari tent with two hot tubs.

Since then I have been taking advantage of the hot tub at my local spa after Ive done my swim a few times a week.

It is so relaxing to sit with no bubbles and just listen to nature around you.

I’ve been thinking about us getting our own hot tub in the garden.

It wouldn’t be surrounded by trees as much as those in the forest but there is still nature about and I think it could still be quite relaxing even with the kids about!

Our garden is so much better now we’ve put a little more love into it and I think a hot tub is just what it needs to finish it off.

Now I better be of to write it in to our budget!

 

Nina xxx

 

 

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Mum Life

Feeling unwelcome at the library.

Last Monday Started badly, so to save ourselves from ourselves I headed to the library for somewhere safe and peaceful to go.

I started by getting a coffee cos you know coffee can help foul moods.

The kids picked books and I started feeding the babies one at a time while the kids took it in turns to read to me!

Not an easy task for Jake. He’s less confident a reader and gets tired quickly.

As I was listening to reading and feeding, a lady kept walking past where we were sitting. She kept giving us quite unwelcoming looks.

She came into the area at one point to rearrange some books.

Jake then said he needed a wee I confirmed with the lady that the toilets were down the corridor.

Yes she replied and quite snottily she snapped but he can’t go on his own.

I was feeding one baby with one other on the floor.

Melody had a pile of books out and we had a few toys scattered about.

So while Jake is jumping up and down due to needing a wee I packed us all back into the pushchair and headed down the corridor. When I arrived I couldn’t get in with the pushchair anyway and the door was locked. She failed to tell me this.

I may be being a little petty but I felt like she did not want us there from the start.

The disabled toilet and baby change was out of order.

Instead I decided to head out to the disabled public toilet across the road.

No. I’m not disabled. But sometimes it’s my only option.

I cried and cried that afternoon.

I felt like I was being judged for the kids not being at school.

Judged for having 4 children.

I really felt most unwelcome last Monday at the library.

*I went back to complain and the lovely ladies on the desk apologised for their coworker. They told me that they want families like ours using the facility and how sorry they were that I had felt that unwelcome that day.

They asked me to please return another day and try out the library again!

I will go back as the library is a great resource especially for home schooling.

Nina xx

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Mum Life

Crisis Point, Identifying Areas of stress.

Over on Instagram last week I said that our home had reached crisis point.

I just wanted to elaborate a little and make some plans to fix it.

I feel like certain parts of our life are getting out of control and I think it’s affecting us all.

I know my wellbeing is suffering.

Things need fixing before it gets to the point of no return.

I thought if I say my plans out loud here it will make me more accountable.

There are a few areas of our life that need some attention.

I’m going to split them in to categories to make it a little easier for me to deal with.

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Clutter

Problem

So this I think is by far the biggest thing that we struggle with and that causes the most arguments!

I dont want to become a minimalist as I do enjoy stuff and I enjoy shopping (What women doesn’t!)I just need to minimise what we have. There is that old saying if it isn’t useful or beautiful get rid if it! This needs to be adopted more into our house.

Plan

Writing down all the different areas that really need decluttering. And working out which ones are high up on the list of places that stress me out! The places in use and every time I curse because I can’t find something.

Organisation & cleaning.

Problem

To follow up from decluttering,  I need to a better way to be organised. Paperwork, clothes, toys etc. Although we have great storage in our play room we never seem to tidy properly.

Plan

The plan is to create a better schedule so that organisational jobs get done throughout each day!

Fitness & Health

Problem

Since having my gallbladder out it was like I was given free reign of food again. so I’ve slipped back into old habits of eating processed rubbish, take outs and too much naughty stuff in general. This has not only made me put weight back on but its affecting my mood and is contributing to my fatigue!

Plan

So in July its my 38th Birthday which means I’m only 2 years away from hitting 40. My plan is to get #fitfor40 . I have spoken to my doctor who is helping me to see what areas i need to change. I obviously know what I need to start with so creating healthy meal plans for each month, and making sure I am active each day are on my to do list.

Debt

Problem

Money is not something anyone every talks about. I really think this doesn’t help when it comes to getting in debt.

We as a family have debt, just like alot of people however they never seem to shift. for too long we have just moved our money around and around, we dont have an emergency budget and live pay date to pay date.

Plan

We need to get our head out of the sand and start budgeting. We need to take hold of what we earn and pay off those niggling little debts.

Home School

Problem

I feel like I’m failing and unorganised. Im living week to week with no real learning goals or plans.

Plan

Although I know I need to chill out a little when it come to how much the kids need to learn I also know that we need to tackle certain things especially when it comes to Jake. So I want to create some kind of learning plan. Setting different tasks up maybe each month. and

Being a couple

Problem

The littlest twins are now 8 Month but they are still in our room and they are still having moment where they need settling through the night. This coupled with the fact that most of our time lately has been focused on my health issues and raising two sets of twins means that arguments have crept up, date nights have pretty much been non existent.

Plan

We need to fit in dates more often. Even if that just means a coffee one morning at the coffee shop – (No Phones) Or an afternoon at the cinema.

 

They are some of the areas I need to work on. One other big issue is the kids behaviour. The past few days have been horrendous. I haven’t  got the energy to talk about it here It has to be its own crisis category suffice to say there are issues with going to bed, jealousy issues with the babies, sibling fighting with each other.

 

Please feel free to offer me any tips on the above categories. I appreciate your comments and encouragement.

Nina xx

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Word Of The Month

May Word Of The Month

April’s word of the month was Dare. Dare to say yes, dare to take on home schooling.

Well a month has passed and we have been so busy home schooling.

I have said yes more and I have taken on things to improve my confidence

April felt like a busy crazy month.

It has taken its tole on me I think.

So this month my word of the month has to be actually two words – Self Care

I will write in another post ways I can practice a little self care in another post.

I have many many symptoms throughout my body that have come and gone since the babies came along.

Most of them are anxiety and stress.

I need to work out throughout the next month how I can self care more.

One of the things that will help is our upcoming trip to Norfolk. Our First Adventure as a family during our gap year!

Join me on instagram following the #spencersarcselfcare throughout May to see what I get up to to boost my wellbeing, eliminate my symptoms and hopefully reclaim my mojo!

What is your word of the month! do you have any plans throughout May?

Nina x

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Mum Life

10 Reasons Why You Wont Sleep When Your A Parent.

As I crawl through the house at 5am on the weekend trying to locate a tooth that was lost and replace it with a shiny penny.

I find an envelope and start putting fancy writing on it from The Tooth Fairy. Saying how sorry I am that she couldn’t find the tooth and that as it’s a first one she will leave a penny anyway.

I realise that I’m gonna be knackered again by teatime.

People wonder why parents are so exhausted.

Well this is just one of the reasons.

Here are a few more. Let me know if you think I’ve missed any off the list.

10 reasons you won’t sleep when your a parent.

  1. Newborn Phase. To start with newborns will need to be woken or will often be awake waiting for those night feeds. This exhaustion is kind of ok as your still on a high normally from having your new little bundle or bundles in your life.

  2. 4 Month Regression. Your newborn may have a short stint to lull you into a false sense of security. However this may be short lived the 4 month is a bitch.

  3. Teething. Babies can go through a terrible time when they are teething. And they won’t be the only ones. Sleeplessness can be a big symptom of teething. Ibuprofen is good. As are teething powders. Oh and coffee.

  4. I want my do do. Yes I know giving babies a dummy will inevitable end in tears being shed. Normally us parents. But babies can often lose the bunny in the night and not be able to settle off again without it. This screaming for said dummy ending up with you scrambling for it in the dark.

  5. Bed Wetting bAs your kids get older you will start potty training. If you decide to brave no nappy at night you may find yourself be woken by little ones telling you they have wet their bed. Who knew so much pee could come out of someone so small. So change of bed, jammers, or leave until the morning and brave them sleeping with you?

  6. Illness. When my kids are ill I actually let them sleep in our room on their own mattress. I get them a bowl if they are sick, tissues for a runny nose and plenty of vicks for stuffy noses. Their illness will have them waking up and telling you they are gonna be sick. A few times a night probably. You will need to empty the bowl and clean their face. While you try to keep both eyes open.

  7. Nightmares. Dreams about bats coming to get them, falling into water and not being able to swim and monsters coming out of the wardrobe to name a few. Nightmare will end with your own mini nightmare. Your child will probably stand at the side of your bed staring at you from an inch away from your face. Your unconscious mind will feel this presence and alert you. Waking you up to the small child literally in your face. You will either now have to share your bed with the scary creature you produced yourself or try and reassure them there are no monsters in the wardrobe. Meanwhile you’ve had a mini heart attack from that angelic face that was an inch away from your own.

  8. ELVES. Some parents including me will buy into the Elf On The Shelf thing at Christmas. This will mean you are up late at night after everyone else is in bed moving said elf. Either that or you will wake early in a morning thinking shit shit shit. Where shall I put that thing today. You bought this thing. You did yourself out of those early nights in December!! Just remember that.

  9. Tooth Fairy. As mentioned above. Kids teeth fall out about 6/7 years old. The tooth fairy will need to come. You must wait to retrieve said tooth until everyone is asleep. Like properly asleep. I mean who made this thing up anyway. A fairy swaps teeth for a coin then they build castles with the teeth. Teeth that are smaller than a ricecrispie. That the child has to put under his or her pillow. Where their head will be. What in God’s name would make anyone think this is a good idea.

  10. Worry. Throughout your children’s lives there will be nights when they will sleep soundly and you will be wide awake. Not sleeping because your little one (or big one) is causing you worry for one reason or another. It could be an unexplained tummy ache. A little rash that you will google and decide you need to go to A&E only to discover when you wash their face to sooth them the rash disappears. It must have been a splash of juice or that lolly pop they had this afternoon. :-/

So if I’ve left anything out or you can relate to any of these leave your funny stories in the comments.

Of course most of the above can be overcome with plenty of daytime naps and failing that coffee. All of the coffee.

I wouldn’t change these sleepless nights for the world. You just have to remember that these things will pass and when they do you will give anything to be five if your baby that night feed one more time.

Join my sleeplessness ramblings over on my instagram stories.

If your up in the night take comfort in knowing your not the only one.

Nina x

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Where to next?